Police Officer #1- YAWN…So bored…What’s next on our schedule for today?
Police Officer #2- Hmmm…nothing.
Officer #1- Nothing? Nothing to keep an eye on?
Officer #2- Nope.
Officer #1- No meetings? Nothing to destroy?
Officer #2- Nope.
Officer #1- Come now, there must be something to do…hey, how about that menace, Fox? Is she causing any damage?
Officer #2- Fox Slave? From Puerto Rico? Hmm…nope, she’s been quiet in her room for the last few months.
Officer #1- That’s odd…Normally she’d try to burn buildings or convince kids that the sky is not blue. Wonder what’s up?
Officer #2- She’s been like this since she last saw her Master.
Officer #1- Why, yes. Her Master left to study the life of sea urchins.[chuckles] Heh, oh well, guess that’s the last we’ll be seeing of the indestructible Fox Slave.
[The Officer’s words echo through a satellite in Fox’s room]
Fox Slave- Is that so? Self…I think it’s time we wrote a fanfic.
Self- [reading a comic book] I thought you quit that along with everything else due to your Master’s trip.
Fox Slave- Well…I take it back! I’m not letting my Master’s duty wreck me…
Self- [disgruntled] You should have thought of that before you chose to become his slave.
Fox Slave- No…that was different…there’s something I thought I had to do…but I don’t have to…I want a life of my own…I am Fox Slave no more…
[Cue cheesy music]
Self- [staring a Fox Slave]…How many times did you watch Spider-Man 2?
Fox Slave- …I lost count.
Self- Fox, you’re wasting your money.
Fox Slave- Well, shit, what was I supposed to do? I lost my School of Rock DVD!
Self- You didn’t lo ose it, I hid it.
Fox Slave- Why you…
Self- Well, as long as it gets you to abandon your Master…
Fox Slave- Just because of that, I take it back. He’s still my Master.
Self- Shit.
Fox Slave- …And, I’m still writing a fanfic, to teach you all a lesson… You can take away my Master, but never my pride…I am and will always be Fox Slave.
Hey, I just summarized Spider-Man 2 in just two pages. Sorry to all of you who haven’t seen the movie yet, that is, if such beings even exist.
Yeah, I miss my Master. But this just goes to prove that I am responsible enough to keep my account at FanFiction.
By the way, this will be stupid and weird. So gather the kiddies for some heartwarming laughs!
“Titans’ Roommate”, Chapter one
Disclaimer- I don’t own anything…except my pride!
Setting: The end of Episode 9 “Masks”, Robin’s room
Robin- [in his bed, grasping Slade’s mask] Great, Slade knew it was me all along…and he got away before I ever learned his identity…
[Cue crash in Robin’s closet]
Robin- Akk!! Who’s there???!! [grabs a toaster] I’m armed!!!!
Fox Slave- [comes out of closet] Take it easy, Rob, it’s just me.
Robin- What the hell were you doing in my closet?
Fox Slave- I used the tunnel in my room to get to your closet. Pretty neat huh? Hey, I just wanted to say good-bye before I leave.
Robin- [smiles] You’re moving away?
Fox Slave- No, you kidding? I wouldn’t leave ever!! This place rocks!!
Robin- [gulps]
Fox Slave- I’m just going out on my journey to get the rent money. I’m damned broke. May be gone for days…the thing is, you’ll be alone for a while…I’m not going to be around to look after you.
Robin- Since when do you look after me? You ruin my life!!! Red X, what stupid idea was that? My friends
Fox Slave- Let me finish!!!…OK, as I was saying…it’s a frightening world out there, to be alone…
Starfire- [from outside] Robin? Are you there?
Fox Slave- It’s Star! Quick, I’ll hide under your bed until she goes away! [crawls under bed]…Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if I stabbed a knife up through the mattress? Hee, funny.
Robin- [gets up from his bed] Lord, help me…
Starfire- Who are you talking to? …Are you speaking to that toaster again?
Robin- [rolls eyes] Are you here to yell at me too? Everyone else is.
Starfire- Well…yes. You see, you’re just some kreatpow bloorgat leader, and, well, no one likes a kreatpow bloorgat. Now, you might think we all hate you, and well, there’s a good reason for that.
Robin- [looks miserable]
Starfire- You see, I resent your existence. Okay, maybe that’s a bit too harsh…no wait, it’s true. I despise this life, and you’re a mayor factor in it, Robin. Phew! It feels good to have this talk with you.
Robin- [looks down at his hands]
Starfire- Do you know what’s it like to have be trapped in a life you never planned on having? I mean, look at me! I never planned to be a Teen Titan! I can’t believe I have the crummy job I do and it’s more unbelievable I have a dumb leader like you! It’s like having a roommate you can’t kick out!!
Robin- [starts tearing]
Fox Slave- [whispering] Hehe, roommate you can’t kick out…that’s funny.
Starfire- You know, I had other plans for myself. This is nothing like how things should have been. You shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t live here, and the other Titans shouldn’t be doing the things they do.
Robin- [sniffling]
Starfire- Robin, I’m sorry nobody loves you, but just think about it, think of how miserable I am, and how much of that is your fault. I…
Fox Slave- [smacks Starfire on the head with the toaster]
Starfire- [falls unconscious]
Robin- [stares in horror]
Fox Slave- Sorry about that, but it didn’t look like she’d be shutting up anytime soon, and I have no time to wait.
Fox Slave- Oh, don’t worry about her. She’ll be up in awhile. She might be permanently blind, though. Oh well, that should make it easier to get away with stuff.
Robin- [shivering nervously]
Fox Slave- Of course, being blind, she might develop a keen sense of hearing. That might not be good. You know, if you’d like I could do something to her ears. Have you got a pogo stick?
Fox Slave- Oh, but then she’ll just fine tune her sensitivity to vibrations. Hmm…we’d have to do some work on her central nervous system. I’ll need some shoelaces and tweezers. Pooh, but what if she becomes some kind of olfactory ninja? This is very difficult. I mean, we can’t kill hera kid needs a girlfriend.
Robin- [looks at Fox]
Fox Slave- But I digress. Hmm…you don’t have some DVD’s. That’s very sad. Very, very sad. I like monkeys…
Robin- Are you going to be leaving soon, ’cause, you’re giving me the impression you’re going to kill both of us. Please don’t kill me.
Fox Slave- Okee-dokee. Listen Rob, I just want to make sure you’ll watch for yourself. That unconscious girl on the floor is just one of your worries. It’s easy to be affected by your fears, your hatred. You might end up a lunatic werewolf like me. I don’t want that to happen to you. You seem like such a nice kid.
[Small pause]
Fox Slave- …It must be nice to still have the opportunity to save the cohesion of your pretty mind. The best some people can hope for is to better manage their damage. Geez, this is worse than gothic poetry.
Fox Slave- [starts climbing out the window] I’ll be on my way out. Hey, I’m going out the window this time, okay? The tunnel has gotten a bit thick with corpses. Good Luck, Robin. And sleep tight. [exits]
Robin- Oh my God, what have we done?
Hey, finally, one of my stories is longer than the author’s note! Alright, well, this fanfic was pretty hard to write, so expect the next one in about a week and a half. Please, feel free to review with whatever comes up to your mind! Be honest, now! And drive home safely tonight…
FOX, OVER AND OUT!!